Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Thursday, August 27, 2009
His crime against society?
Dudes a fucking graff head.
24 years in prison for graffiti.
I couldn't find any of his "vandalism" on the great interweb, but Jenn sent me a link to the story. Don't worry - the courtroom was packed with his victims when the prosecutor asked the judge to sentence him to prison time.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that graffiti is fucking awesome, for the most part I really could care less about it. I hate bad graffiti. If you don't know what the fuck you're doing please don't leave your shitty ass tag around town - I'm just going to laugh at you. It really is art, please attempt to be good at it.
Those who exist and execute their chosen "lifestyles" in the periphery are often persecuted for their actions until the mainstream can figure out a way to profit off of them. Even after the mainstream has figured out how to stack those bills, the bullshit continues (as evidenced by Ralph Mirabel). This kid has been sentenced to more years in prison than he's currently been alive. Please find the logic, because I am failing to.
Crackdown on a skateboarder:
Making some money on a skateboarder:Beautiful street art (that'll get you fined and arrested):
Monday, August 24, 2009
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Monday, July 13, 2009
Let's just be real for one fucking second and break this shit down though.
"A brilliant reminder" - like chicks need to be reminded that they're supposed to want to get engaged, have the biggest rock their dude can get his credit-maxed fingers on, and be brides? We haven't been conditioned since birth by our families, advertisers, and mass marketing for this shit, please give me one more BRILLIANT reminder.
"Of what forever looks like" - uhhhhhhhh? 49.95% of custodial mothers/fathers are considered seperated or divorced in the United States. (Want to know something scarier? I got that fact from divorcemag.com - second source through google search was biblenews1.com - WTF)
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
It's long - over 10k words - but Vanity Fair has an interesting article about the Anti-Christ herself - Mrs. Sarah Palin.
One reason she scares me (from the article):
Andrew Halcro later remembered that he and Palin once compared notes about their many encounters, and she said, “Andrew, I watch you at these debates with no notes, no papers, and yet when asked questions, you spout off facts, figures, and policies, and I’m amazed. But then I look out into the audience and I ask myself, Does any of this really matter?”
To some people facts don't matter. I was at dinner last night, 33 miles from Minneapolis, and was told that "Democrats are still perpetuating the myth of global warming."
WTF. Yes! Facts matter. Yes! Global warming exists.
These people are out there...fully hating.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Friday, June 19, 2009
I know the Letterman/Palin joke is old news, and I saw some clip of his apology and then Palin saying it wasn't a real apology (or some shit) and I didn't really care about it (so why should you).
Then I saw that video.
I'm not joking when I say my jaw dropped and my hand was covering my mouth in shock at the end. There are no words to describe how deeply I am upset by this, I just can't get over the fact that those people are real (with the exception of the dude with the red beard). I do not understand them, and frankly, I think I'm at war with them.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Monday, May 25, 2009
I just tried to upload an image of the download progress to this post (and surprise) it didn't work.
Hope to see you players on the internet in the future...I gotta take a break now because it's driving me nuts.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Blame it on the morbidly spoiled milk in my refrigerator. It expired April 29th. It's expanding and I really hope the top doesn't come off and release noxious gas that just ruins my day, but I'm afraid to touch it. I didn't touch it checking the date for this post, boy oh boy was I lucky that it was facing the right direction. Whew! Anywho, the milk helped me come up with an awesome prank, that I would pull on the guy upstairs if I could gain access to his house without breaking and entering.
Step One: Figure out the size of his toilet tank, and then buy gallons of milk accordingly.
Step Two: Take bought milk and age it accordingly, perhaps Homer Simpson style behind the radiator and shit.
Step Three: Gain access to the guys house without breaking in; this would be the hardest part. Don't forget the milk.
Step Four: Turn the water off on his toilet and then flush it.
Step Five: Take the top off the toilet tank and fill it with the putrid milk. Put the top back on and leave the water turned off.
Step Six: Dipset.
And that's that! It's an incredibly harmless prank but it would stink up the crib for hours and the simple sight of seeing a toilet flushing with milk would freak anyone out, or at least confuse the shit out of them. And then they might not be able to figure out how to turn the water on if they're really stupid (or high on fuckin' meth). And then, dude, the best part. They'll know that you can hit them, any time, any fucking place. That's terrorism boi (milky terrorism? ewww); not even feeling safe in your own damn crib.
So like, I"m totally going to do that.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Working my life away. Trying to play my life away. Semi-successful.
Living with roomie. Trying to figure out what to do in December when our lease is up. Missing friends. Feeling broke, but making money again. Not biking enough (getting fat) and trying to bike and go to the gym to avoid that. Feeling less than creative...started writing again...feeling good about that.
Not getting enough sleep...laying in bed all day saturdays. eating brunch (some things never change). crushing on boys and not doing anything about it (see - lots of things don't change). work. work. work. repeat.
miss you terribly. cannot wait for the 4th of july.
Friday, May 8, 2009
My job is officially driving me crazy. In particular, people that I work with. I know most of you don't "really" know what I do all day, or why I work such crazy hours, and I don't really have time to spell it out right now; but I can explain that I work with like 8 people total.
After a while they can start to wear on you. For the most part I love them, but this week they are driving me fucking mad. I can't even talk about it for fear that someone I work with would somehow stumble across HPC and then report me. So, FUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCKKKKKKK.
Also, tryingt to make plans with friends is so depressing. Here is an example:
Friend: "Want to go to a movie?"
Me: "Yes! Movies are awesome - I love movies!"
Friend: "Great! When can you go. Even though I have a job my schedule is COMPLETELY wide open. Whatever works for you is fine."
Me: "Hmmm...let me look at my calendar and my day planner. Ok, it looks like I'm open from 6:00 - 7:00 tonight...oh wait, not - I've got to plan for the meeting at 7, scratch that. Ok, how about tomorrow, I'm free from 6:00 - 8:00?"
Friend: "That's not enough time for a movie."
Me: "Oh, yeah. Ok - how about Sunday day?"
Friend: "It's mother's day."
Me: "Ok, next Monday night? Oh wait - no, I'm going to a movie with someone else. Do you want to come?"
Friend: "Who is it?"
Me: "...Enter any friend's name here..."
Friend: "Sure, what movie?"
Me: "Star Trek"
Friend: "I've already seen that."
Me: "Want to go get coffee from 6:00 - 8:00 tomorrow instead?"
Friend: "I guess."
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
He then texted it back.
When I'm working in 18+ bars the crowd seems to find it necessary to call coupons "coups" which I really despise.
Also, when texting, I HATE it when people text UR. I don't mind LOL - that's at least an acronym, but UR!!! Just type YOUR. It's only 2 more letters! Same with RU (coincidence that it is the same two letters)? Are you? RU? If you're that fucking lazy don't even bother texting me. The only excuse is if you're driving, and then, only if it's really bad traffic...in which case you shouldn't be texting anyone anyway you fucking moron.
So I promise to stop using "gorg" if the rest of the world promises to stop using "coups" - I think that's a fair trade.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Photo from Pudding Bath
On the internet today I stumbled upon the photo above right here, and in the comments HPCer Ash reminded me of "the grossest porno ever."
I have a friend who will seek out really jacked internet porn. He's introduced me to some SHIT, and now it's time to share.
LET IT BE KNOWN THAT WHILE THIS ISN'T QUITE SOME "TWO GIRLS AND ONE CUP" TYPE SHIT, IT STILL IS NOTHING YOU WANT TO WATCH AT WORK AND YOU DEFINITELY DON'T WANT TO WATCH IT WITH PEOPLE WHO MIGHT JUDGE YOU. IT COULD RUIN YOUR DAY TOO, BUT PROBABLY NOT. ABANDON ALL HOPE YE WHO CLICK BELOW.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Sunday, April 26, 2009
I'm pointing to it and calling it lame.
"It" is the scratch/bump on my nose.
How I got said scratch/bump is a mystery.
I think this really works on HPC. I am totally hating on the mystery, and I got it by totally partying with a crew. So.
Really, if anyone knows how I got this, please please please let me know!
Monday, April 20, 2009
You better pray
When you see me put that nine up in that pussy, ho
Cock it back slow
Rock it back and forth, wait for the nut, then let my trigger go
Pussy-guts all over the room
If you ain't seen it
Then you're fiendin'
For the meanin'
Of that nina of doom
2 inches in and, uh, 4 inches out
You back that nigga that pack that gat
And hit that indo-sack
It's like that
Cannabis seteva got me stuck on stump, fool
All it take is a way, a fat green-bud blunt and a stunt
Cause it's that nigga that work 'em nigga deep
And block creep
And witness murder, baby, kill a seed
Once it'll make you vomit
Guts in a mama's baby, nuts in a bottle, maybe it's common
Biatches keep fuckin' and suckin' and keepin' it comin'
With they drama. POP! It's baby killa season
Put 6 in the clip, put it up that clit
And watch them baby's brains
Drip out that fetus
Bleed, it's that nigga that kill 'em
I'll fill 'em all full for that sicc reason
Season of da siccness broodin', got me trippin' for no reason
Guess what daddy's bringin' home for supper
Nigga nuts and guts and slabs of human meat, motherfucker
Now eat! Cause daddy's workin' hard for you, real, huh?
Killas run around everyday that's why I'm hard for you, nigga!
As I creep, picture every human that I seek
Slabs of human meat
Cause my kids gotta eat
I lives kinda deep, dark, up in tha cut
Where niggas load nines, and barrel-fuck a slut
Nigga, what? You ain't even seen me in my prime
Eatin' baby brains, maby veins, maby spines
I know they be cryin' when I'm cuttin' off the neck
I'm peelin' off the skin for some bacon-fried croquettes
Baby villain spine, that baby-killin' mind
A fifth-pint of gin cause I know I'm doin' time
So catch me now before I do my next crime
My kids' gotta eat, somebody's baby's on the line, nigga
Get ready for the nigga shit
That siccer-than-sicc gut ripgut
Pick-a-vic-up, fuck 'em up with a couple of nine-milla slugs
And put 'em on the ground. Murder toll. Buck buck!
Slugs to the womb
Guts all over the room
That legion of doom
That S to the I-C-X
With a locc and a tech for the throat
and a neck full of gunsmoke it up, locc
One for the nigga who kills them infants and senses
Then this time, I hit 'em with a nine-millimeter, meter
look me nigga me breakin up your skin
Never knew nigga-meat cooked so thin!
So I pack me a nine-milla gat
And creep in the back of the 'Lac
With a sack of the indo
(verse 4 X-Raided)
That's right, once upon a time
A nigga that hella sicc up in the skids
With a lie for the snitch
As a victim's stoned, sayin' "I'll be bones to the pussy clits"
They're a baby ditch to the mastermind
Nine-millimeter shells, they're blind!
Devils made a pact to fuck with match-to-heat, it's one of a kind
Low enough to the shit got hella deep that I had to patch it
To a soul who had the heart to put his mama in a casket
Who could it be?
where can he be
Locked up in the county
cause the bounty
finally found a nigga like me?
What's up, my nigga?
Pull this trigger
And take my muthafuckin' legacy
But watch your back
Niggas be claimin' that they sicc
But really don't know which way to go when they be fuckin' up with my lunatic
Shiiiit, have you ever seen your mama's cock? (yeah!)
Have you even seen a body drop? (yeah!)
Have you even loaded up your glock?
Well, I could gives a fuck cause even then, nigga, you not my nigga
From that 24 Garden Block
That's doin' time
For shootin' shadows up in the dark
And tryin' to bite before he bark
And when his heart stops
From the metal blue blocks up in the cut
They try to lynch my muthafucka to make some dice up out his nuts
And what the fuck goes thru my nigga's mind up in his cell?
That 24 Deep, no sleep, much stress, nigga
Nigga must be livin' up in hell
And here I am, same muthafucka that got my nigga sicc
Tryin' to kill myself but slippin' more deeper into the siccness shit
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Bob Seger, "Night Moves"
I never much liked Mr. Seger. Listen to much of his music and he's cheesy, sentimental, and maybe full of shit. But then really listen, and allow yourself to be cheesy, which you and I are at times, setimental (ditto), and so forth, and allow yourself to just get all Segerly. I once spray-painted
Seger on my skateboard, but no more. Seger is the muse of pain and nostalgia, the everyman's everyman-that and I totally equated "Night Moves" to my relationship with my highschool girlfriend. Yeah, it was ALL about night moves. Ever since we wrote our own song to the Night Moves song, I've appreciated it even more. Already breaking protocol: skipping ahead.
The Dandy Warhols, "Boys Better" (I think?)
Simply put, Fourstar used this song in one of the most awesome intros to a skateboard video ever, and the shit was in my head forever until I downloaded it. I'm off to a shitty start, clicking ahead...
The Delgados, "Stepping In From The Cold"
Oh good, something to write about. This song was used in the Blueprint skateboard video of some name or another, and a dude named Danny Brady skated to it. Awesome skateboard part to be sure, but the best part about this song comes down to my friend Neal. Neal used to live in Chicago when the aforementioned video came out, and then he blew out his knee, and was no longer able to skateboard. He moved here for school and parents, and thought his skateboard career was done for. Basically, when the CD player in my car still worked, Neal and I were driving around one time, and this song came on. He grimaced slightly, and then turned to me and said, "Yo, I can't listen to this song." He explained that he'd listened to it pretty much everyday the summer past in order to get hyped up, and the thought of it now only made his knee hurt. But he got better and skates every chance he gets now.
Andre Nikatina, "Frisco"
Rob Welsh skated to this song. It was dope. Another time we started jumping over shit in this apartment where we jump over shit just for fun and then it came on and then we jumped some more shit and then we went to that bar, Liquor Lyle's. Never liked that bar that much.
Outkast, "Da Art of Storytellin' Part 2"
Real Talk, this song was formative to old Mr. Gerbik. Aquemini is one of those prototypical records that just defines the time when I really started to get or understand music, or make it mean something, or take a meaning from it, or...While there were countless times when this song came on while I was a 17 year old trying to find a place to smoke a clove or trying to hook up with some girl to make out with, the one time that stands out is the morning after the best party I've ever been to. It was at Neal's house, Weird Science style, I was 18, and we were cleaning up. I put this song on and was vibing hard after sleeping in Neal's mom's office. Chips turned it off and made some joke about shitty rap and then I was bummed.
Belle & Sebastien, "Dirty Dream Number Two
The first time I heard this song was when Damian had edited some footage of people together and used it. Then I heard it a ton after, and loved it, but then it really hit home, when, I was staying in the basement of my house during a protracted break-up with a certain HPC member, and I watched the B & S DVD which I absolutely didn't steal from her, and lo and behold the "Dirty Dream Number Two" music video was on there. Needless to say, I was already in love with Belle & Sebastian due to a previous affair with "Your Cover's Blown" and assorted tracks, and when I saw the awesome (as in awe...) displays of innocence and brilliance and happiness in the video, like, GAME OVER.
Rod Stewart, "Young Turks"
There, I said it, I'm a skate nerd. Louie Bartletta skated to the "Young Turks" and it was fucking awesome and its a good song to walk down the street to or to think about girls you like because it's a love song or just because you like Rod Stewart. Ok?
Sonic Youth, "Teen Age Riot"
The song of the summer of '08. One breathless afternoon I was listening to The Current and heard the song mentioned above and drove. I'd heard it before in some nameless skateboard video and made note of that, but at some point I'd lost the name of the video (thus nameless) but found myself transfixed and fixed and content. Suddenly it became an NPR favorite "Driveway Song," (or across the street 15 feet from the hydrant song) and I sat and listened for some four minutes. I sat so contently that Sam McGuire, who was going elsewheres at the time, came out and knocked on my window and asked if I was OK, or what I was doing, I don't remember, I was blacked out in the music.
New Order, "Bizarre Love Triangle," Radio Mix
I was at the skatepark one time and it came on and it was amazing, it was the real whole song, and then I went home and downloaded it and I got the radio mix, the shorter version, which is good in its own right.
Belle & Sebastian "My Girl's Got Amazing Technique"
I was in Arizona this past X-mas and then my little brother got me the B & S BBC CD. I was staying at a motel because my dad put me up there because my sister and her fiance had taken up the other room, and I was listening to the CD, and I found the song to incredibly poignant at the time; I had a good crush on a girl, and I'm a blistering romantic, and so on and so on. So pretty much, buy beers at the 7Eleven with your little brother and make him listen to the song but don't tell him exactly what's up. Maybe lil' bro is drunker than you.
Playaz Circle, "Duffle Bag Boy"
Spend a weekend at the cabin doing Wizard Staffs and listening to Lil' Wayne and this shit begets itself. Then one night after beers at the skatepark, say the hook over and over and over as you head to your not-so-home, and just remember, you damn sure not 'bout to pick today to start runnin'. Git Money.
Thin Lizzy, "Jail Break"
Pretty much one of the best songs ever. Ever. Benji introduced this song into my life when we were editing Shitheads Vol. 8 for the ender banger section, and from there, why look back? "Hey you; good-look'n female, come here." Also, "In-to the city zones..."
Last one.-Belle & Sebastian, "Lazy Line Painter Jane"
I swear I had the thing on shuffle the whole time, and then the last song I intend to blab about is a banger, I swear. First I heard this song on the DVD that I did not steal, and then I bought some shit on I-tunes and got it on my computer, and WOW. For all my boring/amazing nights of late late '08 into '09, this song has been THE salvo, the pickup, the feel good gem of the year, and other stuff that is way less lame sounding than what was just typed. Simply, LLPJ let's me dream about having a girl tonight, girls with beautiful voices, aimless Scottish jobs in the Village Shoppe, and dreaming of the time when I'm free of all the trouble I should be in. I know about lotions and potions;
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
Where is my nuts? Right fucking here dawg. Let's quote:
Thank You America For a Wonderful Year!!!
Did you have an awesome customer experience?
Do you have a sweet picture of your Nutz?
I don't even know what else to say. Do these rule? Yes? Can I inexpensively order a, um, uh, a pair? YES! Can I get mine in black? The only thing to say here about these eight inches of awesomeness is BOO-YA!!!. Put those dogs in a bathtub.
Monday, January 19, 2009
What is the state of this hating community? I know that the previous post, which I will not link to because you can simply scroll down, somewhat esoterically posited whether or not, "Liking is the new hating in 09'?," but then old Typo' talked about some future shit so I have a feeling that we still might be hating. There is a point, I swear.
I might just be with the rest of ya'll; I'm fairly content with my lot in life, and at the same time, this whole winter thing is sapping all creative energy i.e. hating juice out of me. But I mean, to be frank, fuck all dat bullshit, we can still rule the hatoshphere, as we damn well should be. Take some time and peruse the Renaissance of HPC, aka April of 2008; we killed it! Smart, entertaining hating by all, a little party, a smattering of liking, etc. We still got it folks; if we don't I have to move HPC out of my bookmark bar in favor of what? (checking), oh boring, my TSM login page; cha'll know if you ever check my blog there that I don't update that shit.
So a point, shall we? Could we keep partying, hating, or liking even? Yes we can, Yes We Can. We all still hate on stuff, even if we don't immediately post it on the internet. Here we go, some possible hate content for the '09, where liking might be the new hating but we're in the future so we don't even know up from down (to paraphrase the post below). Yeah, the list of things to possibly hate this year...
-Teenagers. This will never change, and as we're a year older now, we'll probably hate them more.
-Winter. Old faithful; this one has been especially bad, so someone entertain me.
-Fedoras. I grudgingly hold my tongue when certain friends wear them, because they don't even look that bad, but, you, know, someone could get sparked.
-Long Droopy Beanies. Oh fuck yeah, we got this.
-Name Dropping Assholes. 2008 saw three posts devoted to a single dude, and one of our fine posters even felt compelled to create a new blogger name for his one-time-under-that-name-rant. We still got it in us.
-Politics. It's been all touchy feely and shit since November 2nd, but we're bound to find our hate again.
-The Economy? Almost a moot point at this point, but we're creative.
-Life's Nasty Tricks. They happen, and e-venting is a viable solution, for a bit at least.
-The Timberwolves. They're playing well now, but my inner-fan says I just might have another post in me about them.
-Facebook. That shit would write itself.
-Short People. They got no reason to life yo.
-Other blogs. Since this is so still the best thing ever on the internet, I know we can find something to ridicule.
-Dick Cheney. Some info about his sketchiness is bound (or not) to come to light soon, I know someone can tackle that dude (I personally would never tackle him, because I have the creeping suspicion that he has lighting strike capabilities ala THE EMPEROR). Again, digression.
-Blog post pep talks.