Monday, May 25, 2009
I just tried to upload an image of the download progress to this post (and surprise) it didn't work.
Hope to see you players on the internet in the future...I gotta take a break now because it's driving me nuts.
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Blame it on the morbidly spoiled milk in my refrigerator. It expired April 29th. It's expanding and I really hope the top doesn't come off and release noxious gas that just ruins my day, but I'm afraid to touch it. I didn't touch it checking the date for this post, boy oh boy was I lucky that it was facing the right direction. Whew! Anywho, the milk helped me come up with an awesome prank, that I would pull on the guy upstairs if I could gain access to his house without breaking and entering.
Step One: Figure out the size of his toilet tank, and then buy gallons of milk accordingly.
Step Two: Take bought milk and age it accordingly, perhaps Homer Simpson style behind the radiator and shit.
Step Three: Gain access to the guys house without breaking in; this would be the hardest part. Don't forget the milk.
Step Four: Turn the water off on his toilet and then flush it.
Step Five: Take the top off the toilet tank and fill it with the putrid milk. Put the top back on and leave the water turned off.
Step Six: Dipset.
And that's that! It's an incredibly harmless prank but it would stink up the crib for hours and the simple sight of seeing a toilet flushing with milk would freak anyone out, or at least confuse the shit out of them. And then they might not be able to figure out how to turn the water on if they're really stupid (or high on fuckin' meth). And then, dude, the best part. They'll know that you can hit them, any time, any fucking place. That's terrorism boi (milky terrorism? ewww); not even feeling safe in your own damn crib.
So like, I"m totally going to do that.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Working my life away. Trying to play my life away. Semi-successful.
Living with roomie. Trying to figure out what to do in December when our lease is up. Missing friends. Feeling broke, but making money again. Not biking enough (getting fat) and trying to bike and go to the gym to avoid that. Feeling less than creative...started writing again...feeling good about that.
Not getting enough sleep...laying in bed all day saturdays. eating brunch (some things never change). crushing on boys and not doing anything about it (see - lots of things don't change). work. work. work. repeat.
miss you terribly. cannot wait for the 4th of july.
Friday, May 8, 2009
My job is officially driving me crazy. In particular, people that I work with. I know most of you don't "really" know what I do all day, or why I work such crazy hours, and I don't really have time to spell it out right now; but I can explain that I work with like 8 people total.
After a while they can start to wear on you. For the most part I love them, but this week they are driving me fucking mad. I can't even talk about it for fear that someone I work with would somehow stumble across HPC and then report me. So, FUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCKKKKKKK.
Also, tryingt to make plans with friends is so depressing. Here is an example:
Friend: "Want to go to a movie?"
Me: "Yes! Movies are awesome - I love movies!"
Friend: "Great! When can you go. Even though I have a job my schedule is COMPLETELY wide open. Whatever works for you is fine."
Me: "Hmmm...let me look at my calendar and my day planner. Ok, it looks like I'm open from 6:00 - 7:00 tonight...oh wait, not - I've got to plan for the meeting at 7, scratch that. Ok, how about tomorrow, I'm free from 6:00 - 8:00?"
Friend: "That's not enough time for a movie."
Me: "Oh, yeah. Ok - how about Sunday day?"
Friend: "It's mother's day."
Me: "Ok, next Monday night? Oh wait - no, I'm going to a movie with someone else. Do you want to come?"
Friend: "Who is it?"
Me: "...Enter any friend's name here..."
Friend: "Sure, what movie?"
Me: "Star Trek"
Friend: "I've already seen that."
Me: "Want to go get coffee from 6:00 - 8:00 tomorrow instead?"
Friend: "I guess."
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
He then texted it back.
When I'm working in 18+ bars the crowd seems to find it necessary to call coupons "coups" which I really despise.
Also, when texting, I HATE it when people text UR. I don't mind LOL - that's at least an acronym, but UR!!! Just type YOUR. It's only 2 more letters! Same with RU (coincidence that it is the same two letters)? Are you? RU? If you're that fucking lazy don't even bother texting me. The only excuse is if you're driving, and then, only if it's really bad traffic...in which case you shouldn't be texting anyone anyway you fucking moron.
So I promise to stop using "gorg" if the rest of the world promises to stop using "coups" - I think that's a fair trade.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Photo from Pudding Bath
On the internet today I stumbled upon the photo above right here, and in the comments HPCer Ash reminded me of "the grossest porno ever."
I have a friend who will seek out really jacked internet porn. He's introduced me to some SHIT, and now it's time to share.
LET IT BE KNOWN THAT WHILE THIS ISN'T QUITE SOME "TWO GIRLS AND ONE CUP" TYPE SHIT, IT STILL IS NOTHING YOU WANT TO WATCH AT WORK AND YOU DEFINITELY DON'T WANT TO WATCH IT WITH PEOPLE WHO MIGHT JUDGE YOU. IT COULD RUIN YOUR DAY TOO, BUT PROBABLY NOT. ABANDON ALL HOPE YE WHO CLICK BELOW.