Hold Please...

And now...a special guest blog from an honorary member of the Chicago chapter of HPC...this hasn't been cleared by other HPC members...but I guess I'm just a hater for not checking first.

Harumph, Muthafucka!! Vol. 1 As I write this, I am on hold with RCN, my internet provider. This is the second call I’ve had to make to them today. I’ve been on hold for a combined total of 20 minutes, which, in the grand scheme of things, is a short time to be on hold. But here’s the thing about it that chaps my ass: when I called initially, I was told, “Due to high call volume, your wait time will be (long pause) three…(even longer pause, it’s like waiting for your lottery numbers)…minutes.” I had feared, momentarily, that the machine would say hours, instead of minutes. So, I waited, and around the five minute mark, I’m still holding. No surprise there. But then, I realize something. Although I had been listening to a pre-recorded message about other wonderful services to be had with RCN (Which in itself is a tacky thing to do. What schmuck is on hold for half an hour, wanting to know why there’s an extra $40 in charges on his bill, and gets sold on one of these canned ads?), now I’m listening to nothing. The phone call had been disconnected. If they can’t take you’re call in the time they said they can do it, they just hang up on you. Could you imagine if that were the operating principle in fast food? “Well, I know I took your money and told you your double-bubble chubby burger meal would be ready in 2 minutes, but I was wrong. It’s looking like it’ll be another five minutes or so…so, I’m not gonna do it. Fuck you, ma’ man.” Ok, bad example. That happens pretty often. Do you know who’s the worst about saying “fuck it” to the job they’re paid to do? You guessed it, the airline industry. I totally understand inclement weather. I don’t want to fly through a blizzard, or a hurricane, or tsunami, etc. But I don’t like dropping all this money on a flight to find out they cancelled it because they failed to sell enough seats. Or better yet, when they oversell a flight and are willing to give you a free flight as compensation for the inconvenience. How is that cost effective? But the scary truth about the bullshit that corporations pull which is worse than how they gouge consumers, and force them to stay on hold for weeks on end, and insist on providing substandard service (not to mention things like sweat shop labor) is that we let them. We let corporations get away with this shit every day, which only encourages them to do it more. Maybe I should…oh wait, they’re taking my call. Later.

[Ed Note: Maybe this would have been better if you were talking on a hamburger phone?]