Let's put the "P" in HPC:

mystery and pain

mike's pointing to it ^ and calling me "bush league"

I'm pointing to it and calling it lame.

"It" is the scratch/bump on my nose.
How I got said scratch/bump is a mystery.

I think this really works on HPC. I am totally hating on the mystery, and I got it by totally partying with a crew. So.

Really, if anyone knows how I got this, please please please let me know!

HAPPY PLASTIC

MEAT MARKET

Return Of Tha Baby Killa

Hating on blog posts that are just the lyrics of a song; usually I don't know the song. Sorry to friends that are implicated in this post, but that's the breaks yo. This song is sick in so many fucking ways, have you even loaded your glock yet?; a nod to Dank Nuggzz, Rest in Piss.

You better pray
When you see me put that nine up in that pussy, ho
Cock it back slow
Rock it back and forth, wait for the nut, then let my trigger go
BOOM!
Pussy-guts all over the room
If you ain't seen it
Then you're fiendin'
For the meanin'
Of that nina of doom
2 inches in and, uh, 4 inches out
You back that nigga that pack that gat
And hit that indo-sack
It's like that
Cannabis seteva got me stuck on stump, fool
All it take is a way, a fat green-bud blunt and a stunt
Cause it's that nigga that work 'em nigga deep
And block creep
And witness murder, baby, kill a seed
Once it'll make you vomit
Guts in a mama's baby, nuts in a bottle, maybe it's common
Biatches keep fuckin' and suckin' and keepin' it comin'
With they drama. POP! It's baby killa season
Put 6 in the clip, put it up that clit
And watch them baby's brains
Drip out that fetus
Bleed, it's that nigga that kill 'em
I'll fill 'em all full for that sicc reason
Season of da siccness broodin', got me trippin' for no reason

Guess what daddy's bringin' home for supper
Nigga nuts and guts and slabs of human meat, motherfucker
Now eat! Cause daddy's workin' hard for you, real, huh?
Killas run around everyday that's why I'm hard for you, nigga!
Now eat!

As I creep, picture every human that I seek
Slabs of human meat
Cause my kids gotta eat
I lives kinda deep, dark, up in tha cut
Where niggas load nines, and barrel-fuck a slut
Nigga, what? You ain't even seen me in my prime
Eatin' baby brains, maby veins, maby spines
I know they be cryin' when I'm cuttin' off the neck
I'm peelin' off the skin for some bacon-fried croquettes
Baby villain spine, that baby-killin' mind
A fifth-pint of gin cause I know I'm doin' time
So catch me now before I do my next crime
My kids' gotta eat, somebody's baby's on the line, nigga

(chorus)

Get ready for the nigga shit
That siccer-than-sicc gut ripgut
Pick-a-vic-up, fuck 'em up with a couple of nine-milla slugs
And put 'em on the ground. Murder toll. Buck buck!
Slugs to the womb
Guts all over the room
That legion of doom
That S to the I-C-X
With a locc and a tech for the throat
and a neck full of gunsmoke it up, locc
One for the nigga who kills them infants and senses
Then this time, I hit 'em with a nine-millimeter, meter
look me nigga me breakin up your skin
Never knew nigga-meat cooked so thin!
So I pack me a nine-milla gat
And creep in the back of the 'Lac
With a sack of the indo

(chorus)

(verse 4 X-Raided)

That's right, once upon a time
A nigga that hella sicc up in the skids
With a lie for the snitch
As a victim's stoned, sayin' "I'll be bones to the pussy clits"
They're a baby ditch to the mastermind
Nine-millimeter shells, they're blind!
Devils made a pact to fuck with match-to-heat, it's one of a kind
Low enough to the shit got hella deep that I had to patch it
To a soul who had the heart to put his mama in a casket
Who could it be?
where can he be
Locked up in the county
cause the bounty
finally found a nigga like me?
X-to-the-R-to-the-A-I-D-E-D
L-O-C
What's up, my nigga?
Pull this trigger
And take my muthafuckin' legacy
But watch your back
Niggas be claimin' that they sicc
But really don't know which way to go when they be fuckin' up with my lunatic
Shiiiit, have you ever seen your mama's cock? (yeah!)
Have you even seen a body drop? (yeah!)
Have you even loaded up your glock?
Well, I could gives a fuck cause even then, nigga, you not my nigga
From that 24 Garden Block
That's doin' time
For shootin' shadows up in the dark
And tryin' to bite before he bark
And when his heart stops
From the metal blue blocks up in the cut
They try to lynch my muthafucka to make some dice up out his nuts
And what the fuck goes thru my nigga's mind up in his cell?
That 24 Deep, no sleep, much stress, nigga
Nigga must be livin' up in hell
And here I am, same muthafucka that got my nigga sicc
Tryin' to kill myself but slippin' more deeper into the siccness shit

(chorus)

Tangentmental Song Post

Blame it on a good day, blame it on insomnia and a jacked sleep schedule, blame it on Rod Stewart and The Faces, or just blame it on the fact that I'm listening to my I-pod shuffle, drinking a beer, and got an idea. Blame whatever. The idea approached me that I've got some 60 or so songs on my little buddy, and almost each and every song on here has a story one way or another, of why it's on here, why I like it, or some other story about some ethereal meaning that it has. So, as "Stay With Me," ends, here are the songs, and their stories (file this in the party? section); I'm going to write about each song more or less until it ends, then move on, and do it until I'm completely bored or fall asleep:

Bob Seger, "Night Moves"

I never much liked Mr. Seger. Listen to much of his music and he's cheesy, sentimental, and maybe full of shit. But then really listen, and allow yourself to be cheesy, which you and I are at times, setimental (ditto), and so forth, and allow yourself to just get all Segerly. I once spray-painted Seger on my skateboard, but no more. Seger is the muse of pain and nostalgia, the everyman's everyman-that and I totally equated "Night Moves" to my relationship with my highschool girlfriend. Yeah, it was ALL about night moves. Ever since we wrote our own song to the Night Moves song, I've appreciated it even more. Already breaking protocol: skipping ahead.

The Dandy Warhols, "Boys Better" (I think?)

Simply put, Fourstar used this song in one of the most awesome intros to a skateboard video ever, and the shit was in my head forever until I downloaded it. I'm off to a shitty start, clicking ahead...

The Delgados, "Stepping In From The Cold"

Oh good, something to write about. This song was used in the Blueprint skateboard video of some name or another, and a dude named Danny Brady skated to it. Awesome skateboard part to be sure, but the best part about this song comes down to my friend Neal. Neal used to live in Chicago when the aforementioned video came out, and then he blew out his knee, and was no longer able to skateboard. He moved here for school and parents, and thought his skateboard career was done for. Basically, when the CD player in my car still worked, Neal and I were driving around one time, and this song came on. He grimaced slightly, and then turned to me and said, "Yo, I can't listen to this song." He explained that he'd listened to it pretty much everyday the summer past in order to get hyped up, and the thought of it now only made his knee hurt. But he got better and skates every chance he gets now.

Andre Nikatina, "Frisco"

Rob Welsh skated to this song. It was dope. Another time we started jumping over shit in this apartment where we jump over shit just for fun and then it came on and then we jumped some more shit and then we went to that bar, Liquor Lyle's. Never liked that bar that much.

Outkast, "Da Art of Storytellin' Part 2"

Real Talk, this song was formative to old Mr. Gerbik. Aquemini is one of those prototypical records that just defines the time when I really started to get or understand music, or make it mean something, or take a meaning from it, or...While there were countless times when this song came on while I was a 17 year old trying to find a place to smoke a clove or trying to hook up with some girl to make out with, the one time that stands out is the morning after the best party I've ever been to. It was at Neal's house, Weird Science style, I was 18, and we were cleaning up. I put this song on and was vibing hard after sleeping in Neal's mom's office. Chips turned it off and made some joke about shitty rap and then I was bummed.

Belle & Sebastien, "Dirty Dream Number Two

The first time I heard this song was when Damian had edited some footage of people together and used it. Then I heard it a ton after, and loved it, but then it really hit home, when, I was staying in the basement of my house during a protracted break-up with a certain HPC member, and I watched the B & S DVD which I absolutely didn't steal from her, and lo and behold the "Dirty Dream Number Two" music video was on there. Needless to say, I was already in love with Belle & Sebastian due to a previous affair with "Your Cover's Blown" and assorted tracks, and when I saw the awesome (as in awe...) displays of innocence and brilliance and happiness in the video, like, GAME OVER.

Rod Stewart, "Young Turks"

There, I said it, I'm a skate nerd. Louie Bartletta skated to the "Young Turks" and it was fucking awesome and its a good song to walk down the street to or to think about girls you like because it's a love song or just because you like Rod Stewart. Ok?

Sonic Youth, "Teen Age Riot"

The song of the summer of '08. One breathless afternoon I was listening to The Current and heard the song mentioned above and drove. I'd heard it before in some nameless skateboard video and made note of that, but at some point I'd lost the name of the video (thus nameless) but found myself transfixed and fixed and content. Suddenly it became an NPR favorite "Driveway Song," (or across the street 15 feet from the hydrant song) and I sat and listened for some four minutes. I sat so contently that Sam McGuire, who was going elsewheres at the time, came out and knocked on my window and asked if I was OK, or what I was doing, I don't remember, I was blacked out in the music.

New Order, "Bizarre Love Triangle," Radio Mix

I was at the skatepark one time and it came on and it was amazing, it was the real whole song, and then I went home and downloaded it and I got the radio mix, the shorter version, which is good in its own right.

Belle & Sebastian "My Girl's Got Amazing Technique"

I was in Arizona this past X-mas and then my little brother got me the B & S BBC CD. I was staying at a motel because my dad put me up there because my sister and her fiance had taken up the other room, and I was listening to the CD, and I found the song to incredibly poignant at the time; I had a good crush on a girl, and I'm a blistering romantic, and so on and so on. So pretty much, buy beers at the 7Eleven with your little brother and make him listen to the song but don't tell him exactly what's up. Maybe lil' bro is drunker than you.

Playaz Circle, "Duffle Bag Boy"

Spend a weekend at the cabin doing Wizard Staffs and listening to Lil' Wayne and this shit begets itself. Then one night after beers at the skatepark, say the hook over and over and over as you head to your not-so-home, and just remember, you damn sure not 'bout to pick today to start runnin'. Git Money.

Thin Lizzy, "Jail Break"

Pretty much one of the best songs ever. Ever. Benji introduced this song into my life when we were editing Shitheads Vol. 8 for the ender banger section, and from there, why look back? "Hey you; good-look'n female, come here." Also, "In-to the city zones..."

Last one.-Belle & Sebastian, "Lazy Line Painter Jane"

I swear I had the thing on shuffle the whole time, and then the last song I intend to blab about is a banger, I swear. First I heard this song on the DVD that I did not steal, and then I bought some shit on I-tunes and got it on my computer, and WOW. For all my boring/amazing nights of late late '08 into '09, this song has been THE salvo, the pickup, the feel good gem of the year, and other stuff that is way less lame sounding than what was just typed. Simply, LLPJ let's me dream about having a girl tonight, girls with beautiful voices, aimless Scottish jobs in the Village Shoppe, and dreaming of the time when I'm free of all the trouble I should be in. I know about lotions and potions;

The End.

Ummm???

So, I really hate when people call my work phone looking for April.  I am not April.  I have never been April.  I only know two Aprils - and I don't have either of their phones.  

These calls are from are bill collectors, and they call at all hours, usually really early in the morning.  They also call and hang up a lot.  It drives me mad.

Today though, there was something new: 

Good question, anonymous texter; "What is really up wit me?"

I'm not your Honey.

Dear Jerk-Face Customer,

I hate you.  P.S. Please go to hell.

Sincerely, 

Someone who doesn't care about you or your sniveling shit-for-brain complaints at all.

So today was one of those magical days where the sun and the stars and the moon align to make my life hell.  This must be payback for laughing at that kid in Snuffy's.  

I came into work today only to have to read a report that made me so mad I stormed around the office for at least a half hour.  It doesn't even matter what the report is - it's just really useless in my opinion.  Then I got on the phone with one of the rudest people I've ever talked to.  My customers are so nice...this was somebody else's customer and it got dumped on me.  The dude proceeded to call me a liar, then he told me he was going to get my company removed from a program (which is such bullshit) and then he called me honey.  As in, "Listen here, Honey."  Then he hung up on me.  So I called him back and told him he was wrong.  I literally explained to the guy how he was wrong.  His response, "Well it doesn't really matter."

What a d-bag.